If you read part 1 of this topic, “God Isn’t Generic”, you may remember I left off at a point in our story where we were praying for Jackson’s arm to be miraculously healed to prevent a 3rd and 4th surgery. (You can clink the link to catch up and read part 1 above!)
I had mentioned that God began highlighting James 1 where he talks about counting it all joy when you encounter various trials, and I had asked Him, “You don’t have joy that Jackson’s arm is broken God, so what exactly is it that I am supposed to be taking joy in?…What am I supposed to be seeing and praying in this situation?” God was faithful to speak to my heart, and I felt that He was encouraging me, “You don’t take joy in your sons broken arm, no, but you can take joy in the opportunity it creates for me to triumph in your life. You take joy in the opportunity it gives me to move on your behalf.” This is really what began to stir my heart to believe for and ask for a miracle.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4
You may also recall my love for definitions, so here is google’s definition of steadfast:
resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering.
I truly became resolute in accessing the miracle God had for Jackson because there was no other option. It was what God’s word said. The testing of my faith would produce steadfastness. The steadfastness would have its full effect – a miracle. So I set my heart on that.
I want to take a moment to speak to the mystery of God. Obviously, I am not God. I don’t know why He chooses to heal some, and doesn’t heal others. What I do know is that this is MY story, and that’s all I can share from and speak to. It is my conviction that as Jesus followers and gospels believers we fight the good fight of faith, we believe for the healing 1000% til the last possible second, and even if it doesn’t come the way we thought it would, the victory is in that we never stopped believing and held on in faith. God does not put our faith to waste.
So, in my resoluteness, I first had to address what I was coming against. In a physical sense I was coming against a broken bone that was not growing enough to fuse back together properly. In a spiritually sense I was coming against a heavy spirit of intellectualism that would try to cause doubt, and inhibit what the Holy Spirit could do. In my case, I could sense this when I would replay words the doctors said in my mind, and feel the temptation to ask, “What if Jackson’s arm doesn’t get healed…” By God’s grace in those moments I felt Him remind me to not even go there, to keep my eyes and heart resolute in confident faith.
So, secondly, I had to feed my faith. I asked God to direct me in the scriptures to truth I could stand on, and for specific insight on how to pray for Jackson’s arm. Here are the specific scriptures that really encouraged me:
• “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16
• “and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:5
• “For if, because of one man’s trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.” Romans 5:17
• “If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.” Romans 8:11
• “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.” Proverbs 3:5-8
• “And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.” 1 John 5:14-15
As I was meditating on these scriptures they fueled my capacity to believe, but they also gave me a glimpse into God’s nature. There was one word that continued to surface in my mind, and that was Yahweh. The interesting thing about this name for God is that it was supposedly the name originally revealed to Moses as YHWH, and over time became too sacred to the Jewish people to even speak out loud, so the name eventually changed to Jehovah. According to a Brittanica article on the name Yahweh, scholars believe the most accurate meaning of Yahweh is: “He Brings into Existence Whatever Exists.” Another translation is: “He Brings the Hosts into Existence.” My faith has been fed, and the tide began to turn in my mind: “If God is Yahweh, and brings into existence whatever exists, surely He could bring a new bone for Jackson into existence.”
I knew what I was coming against, I knew what was available to me through the power of the Holy Spirit, and I knew who God was and what He could do. Instead of praying, “God, heal Jackson’s arm!” I was moved to partner with God and command Jackson’s bone to grow. Our prayers became, “Bone grow, in the name of Jesus.”
We had one week from the time of Jackson’s CAT-scan to the X-Ray that would lead to the deciding factor of whether or not the ortho surgeon would move forward with a third surgery to add a bolt to Jackson’s elbow, that would eventually lead to a fourth surgery to remove it and longer healing time. For one week we resolutely prayed “Bone grow, in the name of Jesus!”
I remember driving downtown the day of the X-Ray. I remember Jackson falling asleep on the drive, and that he was passed out on my shoulder in the waiting room. I once again don’t really remember the actual x-ray, probably because there were so dang many of them. I will never forget our doctor coming in the door of our room smiling, shocked and pleasantly surprised that Jackson’s arm looked like a completely different, new arm in a matter of a week. I will never forget staring at a side by side of the new x-ray and the image taken just a week before, and seeing that God had made him perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
God used this circumstance to change me. It’s an experience that, in the nitty gritty moments, was challenging physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, but looking back it’s invaluable. Just like the woven tapestries I mentioned in part one of this story, it’s one that would be displayed in celebration of what God has done and continues to do. I could run my fingers over the painstaking detail knowing exactly what was extracted and deposited in me through each stitch. I have never looked at God the same way since this experience, and I go about praying for others in a completely different way. I am not the same person I was before this.
You may say to yourself, “Melissa, it wasn’t like it was a life or death situation. It was just a fractured elbow.” I would say, you are right. But Jesus’ first miracle wasn’t raising the dead. It was turning water into wine. You have to start somewhere. I believe we are coming into a time where God wants to show off His signs and wonders and miracles, especially in New England. Ask God where He wants to start showing you the miraculous in your life. Ask God to show you where He wants to use you to be a conduit for His spirit to move in power. Step out in faith and, and step out in faith again, and again. Don’t be afraid to start small; don’t be afraid to be willing, and let Him be the Yahweh He has always been and always will be.
– Melissa
