If you haven’t seen it on social media yet, we have some big news! We are expecting baby number 3 at the end of September/beginning of October 2019! We are so excited!! You may remember we addressed this question in an older Q+A post, and even then we were still unsure. I figured I would share what changed and how we decided to go for having a 3rd baby.
Having a third baby was always something I thought I wanted, but also wasn’t sure if I could handle it! Our two kids have big personalities in different ways, and I also wanted to think about what was best for them. Ultimately I needed God’s wisdom above my own so I began praying about a year and half ago. I remember closing my eyes and asking God to speak to me, and I immediately heard that robotic voice from the crosswalk when you press the button to cross the street: WAIT.
So I let it go for a while. Even when I would see a newborn baby, or pictures of cute bumps on Instagram and that desire would creep up I would submit it to God and ask for His timing.
The end of this past summer (2018) is when things began to shift. Joe and I had talked and decided that we both wanted another child, and we didn’t want the size of our house (which is a 2 bedroom) to stop us. We talked through logistics and when we would sell our house and that gave him some peace of mind and he agreed that we could start trying in January (2019). This is how Joe operates. He has to pick a time for some reason that makes sense to him and that’s it. Once the exact day and allotted time on the calendar hits it’s like ok and now we move forward. 😂
I remember one night in October I was laying next to the kids while putting them to bed, and I happened to be praying and really felt like God was saying we could start trying, but would Joe be on board?? He was washing dishes and I approached him and said something like, “I feel like God is giving the green light to start trying and I don’t think we have to wait until January” Joe responded with something like, “We agreed on January so why must you push it sooner?” I came back, “I am not trying to PUSH it sooner, I am suggesting to you that I feel like God is saying it is ok to start sooner, and I am asking you to submit that to Him and pray about Him changing your mind.” I swear I was not trying to manipulate the situation! I had no real need to try sooner, I honestly felt like the spirit was in this so I wanted him to pray about it. Joe was pretty much like, “No, I said January and that’s how I feel about it.”
I cannot even begin to explain how mad I was, not because I wasn’t “getting what I wanted”, but because he didn’t even seem willing to receive what I suggested and take it to the Lord. I was saying things to myself like, well now if he changes his tune and says yes I don’t even know if I could accept that or be happy about it! I immediately felt the Holy Spirit tell me, “Don’t be angry. Give him space to process. This is who he is. Let me deal with him.” So I went about my night making Jackson’s lunch, picking up the kids toys, doing my night time skincare routine, and got in bed to read. A couple hours after our talk and God encouraging me to let it go and trust Him Joe came upstairs and apologized. He essentially said that I was right and if we want to have a third baby what is a couple of months, and that we could start trying that month.
The ironic part of the story is that I didn’t end up getting pregnant until January. I ended up getting a couple of ovarian cysts that ruptured and my midwife said that doesn’t effect whether or not I could get pregnant but I don’t know if it threw anything off. With Jackson and Quinn I got pregnant immediately, so I was feeling discouraged. I remember wondering if it was wrong to want another baby and if God would choose to withhold it even though it was a good thing. I recalled a scripture a friend of mine preached about at our church’s women’s conference that November:
“Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.”
Jeremiah 29:5-7 ESV
I reminded myself of the high calling of motherhood and family and that it wasn’t a wrong desire, but also knew I had to lay it down each month and trust God’s timing and His ability as the good gift giver. In a practical sense, after two or 3 months of not getting pregnant my midwife gave us the tip of trying every 2-3 days and not just every single day I was ovulating.
January 14th was the day to take the test. They say the best time to take a pregnancy test is first pee first thing in the morning because the hormone is strongest at that time. So I got up to pee at 5am and Joe came with me. I put the stick down and was too nervous to look so I made Joe check it. You’re supposed to wait 3 minutes but the test came back positive before the 3 minutes were up. We were so relieved and excited and also a bit in disbelief!
Ultimately I am thankful for this journey because once again it was an opportunity to lean into Jesus and trust Him with our family, with our hearts desires and His perfect timing. If you are in the waiting for a baby, or some dream in your heart I encourage you to not lose hope! Look to Jesus who is the gift giver, lean into a Him while you wait, fall more in love with Him, let Him show you His nature and faithfulness. I know that His timing in our lives is perfect.
“For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!”
Psalms 84:11-12 ESV
